Camp NaNo: Project Announcemet

Today is the first day of April. That means that Camp NaNo starts! I wasn't planning on doing Camp this year, but a friend poked me in a group chat and I looked into it.

Last November, I actually won NaNoWriMo. It was the first time in about 15 years! (Here's the fic I won with DNA of a Backstreet Boy.) It was an amazing feeling to actually win! I'm still in awe that I did! And the story was essentially complete too!

So that fic was totally started specifically for November. For Camp this time I'm looking at working on a fic I've already started. I'm already 40k into it but it's not about the word count. This story is more about the story itself.

Anyway, this particular story started with a photo:

After a ton of research, I found that this particular photo was from one of their cruises. The theme was "50 Shades of Leather and Lace." Believe it or not, there's NOT a lot out there from this particular night. I think things went a little TOO crazy for the guys!

Anyway, after a little persuasion from my muse, I started a story that had no title and no direction. As I started writing on it, it became something so much more than that one photo! Yes, the story pushed me way out of my comfort zone, but honestly, I'm loving it! The only issue is that I'm not sure where this story is going now! It's one of those stories that COULD go on forever! But it's gonna need to end at some point! I'm hoping that the idea of working on it for Camp is going to force me to find an ending! Anyway, now that you know where this story came from, let me actually introduce you to it!

Genre(s): Fanfic, Erotic, LGBT+

Summary: Brian Littrell is leading a double life. When he's home, he routinely spends time at The Domain, a fetish club on the outskirts of town. His wife is aware of his "alone time," but his son is not. When Baylee finds out where his father spends his time, he begins to question his own desires. Would this club give him the control he feels he lacks in his life?

While he's there, he meets Devon Long, another submissive of his dominant. Their relationship begins under their dominant's watchful eye but quickly escalates. Could this other young man help Baylee find more than just what he thought he was looking for? Will he experience the freedom that comes from finding control?

Goal: 15k words, but like I said, it's not about the words, it's about the story.

This is a WIP (Work in Progress), so if you'd like to read what I have so far, click here.

Quarantined: Fangirling in the Middle of it All

*I wrote this for BSBFangirls.com, so this is a cross-post!*

Fangirling during quarantine, is it possible?

YES! Yes, it is!

I’ll admit that that last week of the South American tour was stressful for me as a fan. I saw Brian get quarantined with Swine flu 10 years ago. I was worried about all the love the South American fans pour out on the Boys. And when they postponed their last concert, I just wanted to know they were home.

But I knew it was all going to be okay. How? Because I’ve been through difficult times before.

Back in November of 2018, I lost everything in the Camp Fire in Northern California. I evacuated with my kids, my mom and our dogs and very little else. Through all that, the Backstreet Boys were my constant companion. Video playlists, CDs in my car. And on top of it, there was a tour! A tour I likely wasn’t going to see. I had to make sure everything was in place for my family before I could even worry about myself. I didn’t buy my ticket until April when Baylee, Brian’s son, announced he was opening for the Backstreet Boys. And even as I had my countdown to something I could look forward to, there was still a ton to take care of before then. Who would watch my kids? Would I get the time off work? Where am I going to stay?

And when I finally thought I had it all figured out, I was telling a co-worker about how Baylee had meet and greets available and the price was reasonable. He convinced me, the week before the show, to buy it, telling me that when would I get this chance again?

August 1, 2019, came. The day of my show. My anxiety was high. It was almost constant since the fire. I got lost on the way to my hotel. I got to the arena and found that almost everyone was there for the Backstreet Boys. I worried that I would get left out. But thankfully, they pulled us Baylee fans first. There were four of us. I worried that I would freak out meeting him. I’d been following him since he was a wee one. His dad was my favorite Boy. His mom was my favorite Wife. I paced waiting outside his dressing room. And when we were led inside to his “lounge” something strange happened. An eerie calm fell over me. Even when he surprised us from behind me, I didn’t jump. It was the most calm I had felt since before the fire.

And even now, when my anxiety rears its ugly head, I only have to put on his song “If You Won’t” and I calm down. So you can bet he’s been on quite a bit since I started worrying about this virus, COVID-19. See, I’ve got a lot to worry about. My mom and daughter are in the high-risk category. I’ve been in quarantine since the 16th of March. And even that weekend before we were starting to take precautions.

So, being stuck at home, how do I fangirl? Easy! Follow them on social media! They are all posting right now. And they’re sending us text messages asking of us to sing their songs! They miss us as much as we miss them. The fact that they haven’t canceled the rest of their tour dates when other artists have, proves that! I also surround myself with other fans who understand. I do that through Facebook Groups and blogs (like this one!). When the news gets to be too much and fills up my timeline, I click into my Backstreet Boys groups and look at pics, read stories, and play games with other fans.

The other fangirl thing I do is write fanfic. Assuming my brain isn’t consumed with worry, or I’m not helping my kids with schoolwork, I’m off in fantasyland with my Boys. Believe me, the distraction of being in a fantasy helps right now. Sure, some of it may not be good fic, but at least my brain isn’t stuck on what’s happening outside my window.

Oh, and when Baylee does a Live Q & A, be there with bells on! It was like THE thing I was looking forward to ALL week! I’ve rewatched it a couple of times now! I was so giddy over his Live (and the possibility of him doing a “Live concert”) that I accidentally responded to a serious work email a little too excitedly. Yeah, I got a “Stay Home” order from work right at the end of Baylee’s Live broadcast and I responded with exclamation points! Oops! Sorry boss!

So yes, you may be stuck in your house for any number of reasons right now, but you can still fangirl over the Boys. Believe me, the little things, like Nick’s live breakfasts, AJ finally posting again, Kevin building a snowman, Howie growing his scruff out, and Brian and Baylee wandering around in full animal costumes, are all amazing reminders of how much they love us and how much we love them.

Quarantined: Sleepy Pants from the Living Room

I've been in quarantine/shelter in place/stay at home/lockdown mode for two weeks now. The kids have been out of school just as long. To say that I'm bored is an understatement. Yeah, I am working from home and it's a little crazy! But still! Working from home is HARD when I've got two kids. I think I've had more Zoom meetings this past week than I have in the past two months! And my bandwidth is kinda sucky when it comes to it. But I'm making it work!

So how have I managed to keep myself occupied other than work? By fangirling!

Yeah, I still fangirl like crazy! And tonight my Facebook timeline is FULL of Backstreet Boys!!! Yes! They were part of the "Living Room Concert" tonight put on by iHeart Radio. They did AMAZING! And let me just say, my favorite parts: Kevin's boys jamming with him and Brian's quarantine outfit!

Yeah, lemme just say this Brian TOTALLY is understanding how we roll during this quarantine!

I mean, come on. Can you get more, "Why dress up if I'm at home?" than sleepy pants and a tee-shirt? He seriously looks like "I either just got up or am going to bed, I don't know which yet." And this is one of the reasons I love him. He's just REAL.

Okay, I may actually still get dressed every day. I kinda have to. See, living with mental illness means that this could be really bad for me if I don't do this right. So, yes, I do get dressed every day. But to be honest, what I wear every day is pretty close to what Brian or Kevin is wearing anyway.

And I LOVED that they did "I Want it That Way." It was just perfect. They are so amazing!

This was seriously the highlight of my week. I'm so glad they did it. And honestly, if the Littrells want to keep showing off their house, I'll be happy! Now to start week three of quarantine!

Cue the Waterworks

Again, not a Friday, but gotta post this one now!

Okay, so remember this post? Well, let's just add some icing on the cake, okay?

So I joined the OFFICIAL BSB DNA World Tour Facebook Group. The Boys themselves are "admins." (Okay, their social media person/team, but whatever!) Anyway, someone posted this video:

I watched it. Loved it. And cried like a little freaking baby!!!!!!! Why? Well, see the post linked above.

But Baylee was only like 4 when I saw Brian. (It was actually 2007.) I remember seeing him hanging off the side of the stage with his mama watching Dad.

So this is kinda like a really weird full circle moment for me. Gosh, dang it, Kid. You and your dad are KILLING me! I guess I'd better make sure I have tissues with me if he sings it on tour. I can't listen to that song without bawling. And hearing HIM sing it makes me bawl harder because I remember his DAD singing it! Okay, Bay, QUIT GROWING UP!

WIPWednesday Character Intro

I know this is a week late. I totally forgot about it last week. There may be another post a little later today.

I don't remember what my initial introduction was for this story. But I know I like this introduction of my MC. It took me a bit to think of it.

Phineas Mulligan sat alone at the high stakes blackjack table at the Mandalay Bay. She had split her hand a

while ago and yet continued to play two hands. The five thousand dollars in chips that sat before her stayed put and only varied slightly as she played a hundred on each hand. It was her night off and payday was in about four days. She had been to a concert earlier and because she was a night owl by habit and because she worked the graveyard shift, she didn’t feel like going home. Instead, she felt the need to sit at the table and play cards just to kill time before she left. Her long dark hair was up in a ponytail and the tee shirt she wore was from the concert. As she sat there, her eyes on the cards, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Tipping her head slightly towards the person who had tapped her, she mumbled, “Hm?”

“Mind if he plays next to you?”

Phineas lifted her eyes to the dealer slowly and then turned them towards the man off her left shoulder. He was slightly taller than six feet, dark skin, a tee shirt stretched taught against his muscles. His hair was cropped short against his scalp. “Free country,” she commented dropping her eyes back to her cards.

The muscular man leaned down and said closer to her ear, “You clean?”

The phrase caught her off guard. Phineas lifted her eyes back to the man beside her. She caught a glimpse of the man standing behind him; auburn hair, head slightly tipped forward and down. She recognized him instantly as Brian Littrell from the group Backstreet Boys. They had played earlier; she had been at their concert. They obviously didn’t have anywhere to be anytime soon if they were staying over in Vegas. Things now made sense to her. Of course, his personal bodyguard would ask questions and be hanging around too. “I work for the Las Vegas crime lab,” she replied carefully. “He’s probably safer with me than he is with you.” This statement must have placated the man because he nodded curtly and took a step back. He said something to Brian and then stepped away.

“Name’s Phi,” she said as a way of introduction and then folded on the hand she had off to her right. Brian sat down beside her and she ignored him as she finished her one hand in front of her and looked at the dealer. “Tanya, you think he’s ready to play with the high rollers here?”

The dealer, Tanya, in her dress shirt and vest looked at Phi as she slid over her winnings. “Are you going to quit playing games at my table?”

Phi glanced at Brian and saw him chuckle. “Oh, it’s on, honey.” Tanya had obviously caught on to Phi’s strategy of keeping her money close.

Mega FanGirl Friday Post

There is so much fangirling going on in this post, it's not even gonna be funny! So, let's start back on Tuesday, April 2. Baylee Littrell, Brian's son, and aspiring country artist posts on his Instagram that he's gonna announce his "Summer Travel Plans" the next day. Of course the next morning, his fam is all over social media before it happens. Then the Backstreet Boys jump on it and say that Baylee is opening for them on the North American dates of the DNA World Tour. Oh, and "come chat with us on Baylee's Insta account."

Well, of course, I'm already following Baylee. I've been following him for a while now. So on HIS account, I post that "I think I may just buy my ticket now!" I'm not thinking anything of it. But then I get this:

Um, WHAT????? The BOYS just liked my comment?!?!?!?!?! Yeah, totally made my day. Then it became me trying to talk myself out of buying a ticket. The excuses were slim to stupid. I mean, yeah, I missed out on the $25 just on sale rush because of the fire. (Hey, I didn't even know if I was gonna have a job!) But, tickets were still REASONABLE, even for nosebleed seats that I KNEW I would be getting.

So I had everybody trying to talk me out of it. No one could. Everyone said I deserved this. So today I did this:

Yeah, I'm gonna go see my Boys for the first time in 8 years! Yes, it is a nosebleed seat. Yes, my anxiety is probably gonna be through the roof because I will be going BY MYSELF for the first time EVER! But you know what, they're worth it. I'll probably bawl like a baby during "Chances" because well, that was the song that came out around the fire. Or during "I'll Never Break Your Heart" because that's my fav song EVER. But at least I know they will quiet my anxiety. They always do.

Oh, and the other cute/cool little fangirl thing that happened was last night. I had had an awesome day at work! We were two staff short, but the day ran SO SMOOTH and we ran SIX programs with three staff! It was incredible! Then I get home and all hell breaks loose. Well, just as I'm about to take the dogs outside, I get a ping on my phone that Brian is doing a live Instagram video. So I step outside with my phone and jump in to watch. It was adorable! He was essentially helping Baylee get his stage cred. They were "attempting" sing "I Want it that Way" but apparently everyone but Brian forgot the words! And Brian just played along. It was just so adorable to watch that moment.

I have another couple but I'll post them later. Today is just all about there being 118 days until I see the Backstreet Boys!

My Revise And Revive Novel

This month I am taking on a challenge put on by Keri over at Grey Matter Margarita. Not only that it is also WriYe's Resurrection April and it's CampNaNo!

Here's a little backstory:

In case you forgot or don't know, I lost everything in the Camp Fire. (See this post, in which I mention it briefly.) And when I say everything, I mean everything. Fortunately for me and my writing, most of it was either cloud-based or backed up in my email. In going through my old WIPs on the WriYe boards, I found a fic I REALLY wanted to work on. Problem: it was lost in the ashes. So I've been digging through my email and found that I actually submitted some of my writing for "verification" on the WriYe boards. Most of it I didn't encrypt so I just snagged it straight away. I've got a few "Phoenix Fics" I'm working on now and a few that I've completely redone and finished. See, I call them "Phoneix Fics" because they are truly rising from the ashes to become new again.

Anyway, I found this CSI/BSB fic idea in the WIPs list that I totally adored. Unfortunately, it was gone! So I started digging around in the boards and an old blog I used to keep to see if I had written on it at any time during my WriYe ventures. I found that I did in 2010. So I dug around in my verification files and found it! But it was encrypted! So I started the decryption process, hoping I had done simple letter-to-letter encryption and I had! The problem was that when I decrypted it, it was pretty difficult to read in places due to the find-replace feature. That and because I had obviously started this fic at some point, the whole beginning made ZERO sense. Remember, I got this from a verification file, so I only had the words I had written during that verification period in the file. So, yes, I was missing HUGE chunks. Another thing about this verification file that I found was that there was also an outline to this story I used in the verification as well. Granted it's only ten scenes, but it's a starting point. I think it will wind up being about two to three chapters worth.

So this is my Resurrection April fic and it happens to be the one I'm working on for CampNaNo. The reason I chose this as my revise and revive novel is that I'm going back and watching CSI again from the beginning and I know there is some major revision needed in the scenes I have written. But otherwise, I'm looking to write about 30,000 words this story, so that's 1,000 words a day for 30 days. I'm not sure I can do it, especially since for March I've only written like half of that and have been averaging about 100 words a day. But hopefully, with a "new" story, I'll be able to actually get some words in.

Here's my official description:

Phi Mulligan has a rare night off from the crime lab. She uses her time to go see her favorite group, the Backstreet Boys. While deciding to blow her forthcoming paycheck at the high stakes tables, Brian Littrell sits down next to her. After about an hour of playing, both their phones go off at the same time. Phi is called to the very hotel/casino she is standing in. Only then does she realize that Brian's wife Leighanne is the vic and they are there to find the killer. With Grissom and Greg's help, Phi sets off on an investigation that will challenge her beliefs in the band and her place at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. This takes place in 2005, between seasons 5 and 6 of CSI.