FanGirl Friday: What I Believe

I don't usually discuss current events, politics, or things like that on this blog. I try to keep it focused on fun. But on occasion, I feel the need to say something. This may be a weird, rambling post.

If you've set foot out of your house within the past week or two or taken a glance at any social media platform, you may have seen or heard what happened with George Floyd. I'm not here to dive deep into it. I will say that it was wrong on so many levels. I'm also not here to dive deep into the protests. I'm also not going to talk about my political or religious views surrounding the events of George Floyd's death or the protests.

But there are a few things that I want to share.

1. No matter WHAT you believe about what happened or the protests and violence going on, I am going to say this: I love you. I don't care who you voted for. Who you are going to vote for. What color you are. What your religion is. It doesn't matter to me. No, I am not "color blind." I see you, People of Color. I understand that you have oppressed for far too long. I may not have been in your shoes or experienced what you have, but know that I see you.
2. To those of you who want to get upset with celebrities who are vocal about their choices that oppose your own, I don't understand you. I'm speaking specifically in regards to whatever it was that broke out on Twitter Wednesday night. I'm not on Twitter much, but apparently, there were some haters hating on Brian and Leighanne Littrell because they are VERY Republican. I know this. I DON'T CARE! Yes, I follow Leighanne on Facebook but I tend to scroll past a lot of her posts. Do I agree with her on a lot of it? NO! But I love her nonetheless. Now, I may not have seen what erupted on Twitter, but I did see this post. So quit hating! Hating on them is similar to what is going on. It's not the same, but by trying to bully someone for their views, you obviously just don't understand.
   
   

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It doesn’t take a lot to find happiness in things,people and places. In the craziness of the world today, the way people are lashing out at each other saddens me. No matter who I voted for or what religion I am, I am a person.... a person that has feelings and beliefs as well as quite a difficult life growing up but I prevailed and made the most of every situation and this is why I can take all your loving and hateful comments...... they are direct reflections of you So good or bad there it is. These pictures I find happiness in and comfort in my home💕 I love and thank all of you for having my best interest at heart and just know the love goes both ways💖💕💖#loveyourself #forgiveness #compassion

A post shared by Leighanne (@leighanne_littrell) on Jun 3, 2020 at 4:08pm PDT

3. And furthermore, did you not see that these two celebs joined the #BlackOutTuesday movement? Okay, maybe they don't believe ALL of it. Baylee obviously doesn't quite get WHY Colin Kaepernick kneeled during the National Anthem but he understands SOME of it. And he is still young and developing his own views. If you want to know more about Colin's kneeling or why there are looting and rioting or anything else, EDUCATE YOURSELF. This has been going on for centuries!
   
   

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🖤

A post shared by Baylee Littrell (@bayleelittrell_music) on Jun 1, 2020 at 3:49pm PDT

4. I'm beyond proud of Kevin (and AJ) right now for being so vocal! Yes, I fall more on his side than I do the Littrells, but I don't love them less because I don't agree with them.

All this being said, I am who I am. I believe what I do. I believe Black Lives Matter. I believe Love is Love. I believe in Science. I believe Kindness is Everything. You do not have to believe like me. You are free to believe what you wish. But know it doesn't change the way I feel about you.

Quarantined: Not So Much

I finally get to go back to work! Not that I haven't been working these past 11 weeks. But now I get to go back to work in person! This makes me happy because some of my co-workers have been able to actually work and serve this whole time. Yet for me, because of my situation, I haven't been able to. 

Now, this changes a few things: yes, I get to go back to working in person. Yes, I get to go back to serving our youth. But this also brings added stress and hazards to me. I have to keep my family safe while working.

So what does this have to do with fangirling? Well, it's May. Usually, May is full of craziness and school stuff and all kinds of things. In fact, on Friday, my kids finished school for the year. Granted, it wasn't the way we intended when the school year started, but it happened. Forgive the bare feet, but really, where were we going?

And they're not the only ones! So many kids I know are graduating, including my favorite teenager!

This just makes me cry! I remember standing next to this little boy. He was two! Where in the world did the time go????? He is not supposed to be graduating high school yet!!!!! But I knew back in August he was starting his senior year so it was BOUND to happen... But I SERIOUSLY just stopped feeling weird about this because he posted it two weeks ago. (See this post.) Gee, thanks Mama for posting this!

And then of course, after I go to bed Sunday night, what does Brian do: drop pics! Dang night owl! Awesome black and white ones. It's eerie seeing the first one because those freeways are usually packed! But his black and whites are always just STUNNING!

FanGirl Friday: SQUEE!!!!

SO MUCH SQUEE in this FanGirl Friday, you may want to cover your ears! So, by now you've heard:

DNA WORLD TOUR RESCHEDULED!

Yes, the tour has been rescheduled! I was literally in a work meeting and THANKFULLY we were in a breakout room. But I feel bad for my team because their leader squealed like a crazy woman! So anyway, I was in this room with my staff, and my phone buzzed beside me. I glanced at it and saw that it was the BSB Insider so I opened it. And literally squealed on camera! Yeah, GREAT impression to make! But they'll get to know me and how crazy I am!

Anyway, so my Facebook Timeline has essentially EXPLODED BSB! Yes, everyone has to repost what the guys posted 8 bazillion times! But that's okay! One thing I can say for this reschedule is it is LONG! It starts on June 7 and goes to September 12! It's ALL SUMMER!

So here is the video:

And then here is the image of the dates:

I'm super excited that my rescheduled date is a Saturday! I might be able to go! I hadn't bought my tickets yet because I was trying to figure things out and then it got postponed so I waited. And now, yes, I do still have some stuff to figure out but I would LOVE to see them again! So now I just wait a bit and see what happens. Hopefully, I'll be able to get tickets after summer work and be all ready for the crazy that is ANOTHER BSB show!

Writing Wednesday

I need to update my WIPs list because I know there's a few more on there than what I currently have listed. I hate having so many unfinished stories on my plate, but alas, it seems like my MO. There used to be a time when I hardly finished anything. I still feel like I start more things than I finish.

Currently, I have 5 stories on my AO3 account that are unfinished:

In Deep

After coming out to his parents, Baylee finds himself kicked out and on his own. He takes to selling himself on the street. When a lucrative opportunity comes his way, he takes it, not realizing the consequences.

Let it Be Me

After Brian's divorce, he met and fell in love. The relationship was "different." People didn't understand. Now after months of the media making things up, Brian and his girlfriend, Bec, and her partner, Alyx, are talking about their relationship to hopefully do some damage control and help people understand. Bec is just trying to take the heat away from Brian.

I'll Never Break Your Heart

Brian answers a call from a telemarketer at his family's home in Kentucky. This starts the whirlwind of a relationship between him and an aspiring radio DJ. Only Brian's past comes back to haunt them both.

Imogene

Brian is in charge of finding the groupie for the tour. The girl he finds is everything they want. As things progress though, Brian finds he has feelings for the girl, one of the things they aren't supposed to do. Could this jeopardize his marriage and everything he has going for him?

Untitled (BSB/CSI Crossover)

Phi Mulligan has a rare night off from the crime lab. She uses her time to go see her favorite group, the Backstreet Boys. While deciding to blow her forthcoming paycheck at the high stakes tables, Brian Littrell sits down next to her. After about an hour of playing, both their phones go off at the same time. Phi is called to the very hotel/casino she is standing in. Only then does she realize that Brian's wife, Leighanne, is the Vic and the are there to find the killer. With Grissom and Greg's help, Phi sets off on an investigation that will challenge her beliefs in the band and her place at the Las Vegas Crime Lab.

I think I may have a poll or something and let you guys pick which one I should finish in July, the next CampNaNo excursion. But then again, that also depends upon my mood. I've taken a few days off of writing, just to kind of let it rest for a bit, see what happens. Maybe I've been pushing myself too hard... I don't know. I just feel like I hit a dry spell.

Quarantined: Too Much Love! Is that a Thing?

What a weekend! First thing's first, let's talk CMT Music 12 Pack Countdown. BAYLEE WAS NUMBER 4!!!!!! OMG! We are moving this boy up the chart!!!! Woohoo! And while we're talking about, GO VOTE!

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Number 4 y’all! Let’s keep it up! #cmt12packcountdown

A post shared by Baylee Littrell (@bayleelittrell_music) on May 23, 2020 at 5:52pm PDT

And then on Saturday, Brian decides to BLESS us with a video of Bay being Bay, his gorgeous wife, and a shirtless pic of him!

View this post on Instagram

#weekending in Littrellville.... 🤣 #iloveyoubaby thank you for the deliciousness..... 🤪

A post shared by Brian Littrell (@rokspics) on May 23, 2020 at 1:23pm PDT

Can life get better????

Why, yes! Yes it can! Saturday afternoon I got word of Bay doing a Live Instagram. I was bummed because it was right over dinner time for me. Well, apparently, they were having technical difficulties. Because when this live DID happen on Sunday, Bay was having all kinds of sound drops and blurriness! But it continued! Yeah, it was a short one, maybe 15 minutes but he sang "Some Guys" which is definitely growing on me the more he performs it! The first shot is from another Instagram user and then the rest are my screenshots. *sigh* God I needed this!

FanGirlFriday: Not Very FanGirl Feeling

This is not the happiest of FanGirl Fridays on the planet. Why? Well, Tuesday THIS announcement came:

Honestly, I was expecting it. They had had two of their shows postponed (Hollywood and Lexington) by the venues. They had to say something soon or else more was going to get out before they did it themselves.
My show was supposed to be August 16. I hadn't bought my tickets. Why? Well, I didn't have everything worked out yet. See, it's hard when you are a single mom working to support your family. Everything has to line up for things like this. Yeah, I did sit in my leadership team meeting with my tablet and phone out in the "waiting room" for FanClub presale. But I didn't buy. I didn't even buy on Valentine's Day when the main sale opened up. And now, well, I guess I'll just wait until next week to see what they say about rescheduled dates. Hopefully, I'll be able to go then.

WIP Wednesday: In Deep

This WIP Wednesday, I wanna talk about the current project on my plate. It's a new thing. It's deep and dark and way out there for me. It is very much gay erotica. And by that I mean the story is told essentially through the sex.

I've never done a story like this before. Yeah, I've written erotic stuff and some of it was pretty hardcore (like "Finding Control"), but not something like this. And like everything else I currently write, it's fanfiction!

Title: In Deep

Summary: After coming out to his parents, Baylee finds himself kicked out and on his own. He takes to selling himself on the street. When a lucrative opportunity comes his way, he takes it, not realizing the consequences.

Currently Updated To: Chapter 3

So, yeah, um... Baylee, prostitution, gay... Can we get further from reality here????

I don't see this being as long as the last few I've written. I'd say it's likely a third of the way finished. Wanna read it? Click here.

Quarantined: Baylee and the Frick & Frack Show

Sunday afternoon, I'm sitting at home and I get a reminder on my phone about an event coming up. The Frick & Frack Show was hosting a fan chat via Zoom. Ok, lemme explain something about me and Zoom. For some reason, it hates me. My kids can Zoom easily! Me, I ALWAYS have either CPU usage problems and have to have ONLY Zoom up or my network hates me and I freeze! This song seems to be my life right about now:

So, I jump on, keep myself on mute because, well, my household is CRAZY! Two kids, two dogs, and my mom. Yeah, I'm lucky to get through an hour. Anyway, it was a BLAST! These two guys are awesome! You should check them out because now their podcast is JUST ABOUT everywhere. And come on, they are GUYS who ALSO are BSB FANS! Dang, why can't I find a guy like this?

So what did I say that Matthew couldn't read and Caleb just didn't read and about got me kicked out? I told them that they just needed to drop "The One" because Brian can't do it anymore! It's the truth though. The guys do amazing at covering him, but he struggles too much and I don't like seeing him struggle or just drop. What they don't realize is that I have been a Brian fan since the beginning and I will support him no matter what. He could've just stopped, but he is such a fighter!

So as I'm getting off and getting ready for dinner, I get the ominous text from my BFF. Literally, we can speak in two words: "INSTA NOW!" and we know EXACTLY what that means! It essentially means that one of our fav fam is posting on Instagram. So I hop over there and just about immediately start bawling because THIS is what I see:

View this post on Instagram

High School Grad sounds pretty good.Glad I got to spend it with you boys❤️ Thanks for sharing this special moment with me👊🏼 Can’t wait to see what the future holds. #highschoolgraduate

A post shared by Baylee Littrell (@bayleelittrell_music) on May 17, 2020 at 4:42pm PDT

Okay, yeah. I'm just done. Let me just go crawl in a corner and cry now!

And to make it even better, there's this on Gibson's Facebook Page:

So that was my Sunday... How was yours?

Quarantined: Littrell Love

It's been kinda sad in quarantine for me, a Brian fan. Yeah, the AJ fans have had their Looped calls. Howie's done his virtual "Howie Eatz." Nick is like family/baby obsessed right now. Kev, well, he's never been very social. And Brian, well, he's just intermittent. When he's away from the fam, he's like a social butterfly. When he's home, he's like family-focused. Okay, I get it. I'm fine with it. It doesn't bother me, much. So when he does post, I relish it!

But before we talk about Brian, let's talk about his son. Man, the things he does to just make my little heart quiver. The first thing he does is drop the dressed up pic:

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#bayleelittrell2024 @king_bigwillard for VP!!!😂😂😂

A post shared by Baylee Littrell (@bayleelittrell_music) on May 13, 2020 at 2:18pm PDT

 And then he has to go and remind us that summer is nearly here. In the words of Douglas Adams, "Where's your towel?"

 

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Throwing it back to last summer with 20% off our "We Run This Beach" towels, get them while they're in stock! store.bayleelittrell.com 🔗

A post shared by Baylee Littrell (@bayleelittrell_music) on May 14, 2020 at 5:00pm PDT

So let's talk Dad here. Who's got a quarantine project going? I know I do! And guess what, Brian has this young man whom he can "supervise" for said quarantine projects!

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@bayleelittrell_music and @aidanb1226 working hard.... I’m just supervising 😂 mulching in Quarantine.....

A post shared by Brian Littrell (@rokspics) on May 14, 2020 at 2:58pm PDT

And well, we can't forget that Baylee's "Boxes -615" is in the running for CMT's Music Twelve Pack countdown! And sometimes he even reminds us of this fact!

So, um, Go vote!

It's not much, but I'll take what I can get. 

FanGirl Friday: Missing the Tour

The DNA World Tour started a year ago this week. WOW! Has it really been a year already? Hard to believe that this craziness of a world tour is a year old! Now, the Boys are supposed to be on tour now. But alas, due to this virus currently going on, they're not. They're quarantined just like the rest of us.

They had to postpone the last show of the South American leg. Then they postponed the Australian leg a whole YEAR! The last show of the US leg was just postponed by the venue. (Still no word from the Boys yet.) I'm fearing that with the way things are going, most, if not all, of the US leg is going to be postponed. But alas, we wait for the "official" announcement. The fact that the Boys didn't just straight-up cancel back in March just shows how much they love us and love doing their jobs.

And we are not the only ones missing the tour. Nope! First Brian posted on his Instagram, and it's a true missing his job post!

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Getting back out there with y’all is what keeps us going.... can’t wait to be back.... 👍🏼 #mondaymotivation @backstreetboys

A post shared by Brian Littrell (@rokspics) on May 11, 2020 at 1:58pm PDT

And then there was Mr. Quiet. Yes, KEVIN posted! He has hardly posted at all during this time. He's usually pretty quiet unless their sports going on. And since there are no sports, he doesn't post much. But then there's this!

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Hard to believe it was exactly 1 year ago (yesterday 👀PS) that we kicked off the #dnaworldtour in Lisboa, Portugal 🇵🇹! Looking forward to getting back out there when the time is right. ✌🏻❤️ y’all! #backstreetboysdnaworldtour

A post shared by Kevin Richardson (@kevinscottrichardson) on May 12, 2020 at 5:41pm PDT

So yeah, even they are missing us and being on the road! We are not alone in this...

WIP Wednesday

Thought I'd actually introduce this tag a little bit. So this is "WIP Wednesday" or "Work in Progress Wednesday". Last month I used it to talk about Camp NaNo because it was a giant Work in Progress. Last week, I used it to talk about finishing one of my major WIPs, "Sire." This week, I thought I'd just talk about it in general.

Seen, until recently, I haven't been able to finish my stories. Yeah, sometimes I'd finish short ones, but when it came to longer ones, I'd have these MASSIVE stories and never finish them. I think part of that is because I never really had a "tribe." Yeah, sure I've had writer friends over the years. I've done lots of different things: message boards, chatrooms, etc to keep those relationships going. But eventually, I guess I just didn't feel supported. Why? Well, I primarily write fanfiction. I don't know why. I just enjoy it. And whereas some people write fanfiction based off of books, movies or television shows, I write fanfic based off of real people. I don't know why I enjoy this so much, but I do. I thought I was the only person who was still writing in this fandom because, well, you couldn't really find fanfic anymore. Sure, FanFiction.net is still around, but a very long time ago, they dropped the RPF from their archives.

It wasn't until someone posted in the Backstreet Boys Official Group asking if anyone still wrote fanfiction did I find my tribe. This person, now friend, started a whole group because I literally jumped up and down and said that I still wrote fanfic! The group has since expanded beyond fanfic, but I'm still writing! AND I'm still being encouraged by a group of people whom I gladly call my friends. It's only because of them that I was able to actually finish and win NaNo 2019. It's only because of them that I was able to finish and win Camp NaNo last month. It's only because of them that I was able to finally finish my novel from NaNo 2018. It's also because of them that I found a way to share my fanfic with others.

And alas, this tribe of mine also helps me work on new ideas. I've got one now. I'm not going to share much about it yet because it has no title and I really don't have a direction for it yet. I have posted the first chapter, but I really don't know much about it yet. But it is another one that is out of my comfort zone. It's going to be amazing I feel. I can't wait to keep working on it and share it with you as I complete it, because now, with my tribe, I don't worry about not finishing things. I work to finish them. I'm looking at some of my old WIPs and seeing if/how I can work on finishing those as well. It's actually a really good feeling. I hope as I work on more WIPs to be able to bring them to WIP Wednesday either as nearly completed or finally finished fics!

What to know what I'm working on? Click here to see my "Works in Progress."

Graphics

As you may have noticed, I make graphics. No, I don't have a degree in graphic design. I didn't buy an expensive graphic manipulation program. Instead, I use Canva. I've been using Canva for graphics for years. All the graphics on this page are made from there. Sometimes I use their stock photos, sometimes my own and sometimes photos I've found. I've also made all my covers for my novels on it as well as other things.

I also make graphics for the groups I own and moderate.

My group devoted to my favorite family, the Littrells: Littrell Love

The group I moderate: BSB Fans United

Now, here's the thing. Sometimes I make graphics that I don't care if they get snagged and shared. Those I don't tag those with the group name. Example: my quarantine graphics:

But sometimes, I DO CARE. Like, for example: 

I made some Instagram/Facebook interactive story panes. You save them, fill them in, and share them to your stories. I hashtagged them with the tag we created for the Boys' anniversary and our name right in the bottom. I mean, yeah, sometimes they don't take much to do, but sometimes they do! And if it's something that I'm doing SPECIFIC for one of my groups, I want to make sure we get the credit and acknowledgment.

So imagine my surprise when I find MY graphics in other groups! Sometimes I find them by accident. But when I'm a MEMBER OF A GROUP that it's being shared in, it kinda annoys me. Yes, I will share my graphics around. I don't have a problem with it. Just ask me. I'll gladly share it. What bugs me is when people crop the tags off and then share them. And when I call them on it, said people block me and kick me out of their group. It's just annoying.

So, here's the deal, and this goes for ANYONE who is making graphics. Before you share them, ASK or COMMENT on their graphic to let them know! Maybe they'll friend you and wanna be tagged. Maybe they'll just want a screenshot to know where you shared it. Be considerate people.

Quarantined: #AloneTogether with Baylee Littrell

Brian and the fam had been pretty quiet on social media this week. I was getting restless! But then Thursday night, they go all "food post" on me. First Leighanne with what we'll call "The Before." I guess they took the "leftover challenge." Nope. Not one for me! And Baylee legitimately looks terrified to eat his mother's cooking!

View this post on Instagram

What’s in your fridge?😂 #leftoverchallenge tag me!

A post shared by Leighanne (@leighanne_littrell) on May 7, 2020 at 6:42pm PDT

But apparently, it wasn't bad because Brian gave us "The After" shot:

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Hated it!!!! Can’t you tell.... wow is it possible to have leftovers for leftover? That was amazing..... #leftoverchallenge 🤪

A post shared by Brian Littrell (@rokspics) on May 7, 2020 at 7:02pm PDT

And yeah, there were a couple of posts before that too, but all in all, Brian had been silent. And his post before this one was just a text post!

And both of these were literally right before I went to bed. And after I did go to bed, Bay drops this sweet thing on me:

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Here is a clip of me with the boys and my tiny microphone 15 years ago.Thank you for finding this @yahtzee27 😂time goes by too fast...

A post shared by Baylee Littrell (@bayleelittrell_music) on May 7, 2020 at 11:02pm PDT

This is like the sweetest little thing! THIS is how I see Baylee in my head. Two years old. Mop of blonde curls. Sometimes it's hard to see him as the almost-adult he is today. He's grown up WAY TOO FAST!

Okay, that was what I woke up to on Friday morning. Then came Friday afternoon.

I was just finishing work on Friday and getting back onto Facebook. See, I close all my socials so I can actually work. (Yes, I do most of the time keep my music on.) So as I was doing this, scrolling through Facebook, I see this post pop up from both Brian and Baylee. Apparently, Baylee did a vid for CMT! Oh, this made my heart happy. And I was even happier that it was my THREE FAVORITE SONGS from his album: "Come Kiss Me," "Boxes," and "Nobody Tells Ya." *sigh* It literally just made my Friday!


So, there I sat on a Friday afternoon, enjoying my favorite Boys. What a great way to go into the weekend!